Conni’s Avant Garde Restaurant: A Snowball’s Chance

Created by Conni's Avant Garde Restaurant Ensemble.
Directed by Cynthia Croot.

November 29, 2018 - December 22, 2018

7:00pm, Wed/Thu/Fri/Sat/Sun, Gordon Square Theatre. Doors open at 6:30pm for hors d'oeuvres and preshow entertainment. Previews November 29. Opening Night is November 30.

3 hours with an intermission.

Hailed as "devilish dinner theatre" by the New York Daily News, one of CPT's most popular holiday entertainments is BACK! This hilarious musical performance includes crazy cabaret, comedy, dancing, game show competitions, violence, and a five-course meal. The performers cook and serve the feast, using fresh, locally-sourced ingredients—each course served through musical and choreographed sequences. Conni's Avant Garde Restaurant: A Snowball’s Chance is an eclectic, bizarre, and delightful night at the theatre like no other. You won't want to miss this! World Premiere.

The Gordon Square Theatre is ADA compliant featuring a ramped entrance and an all gender, wheelchair accessible restroom.

Preview: $35
Standard Price (Wednesday, Sunday): $50
Standard Price (Thursday, Friday, Saturday): $75

Tickets include five-course meal and table wine.

GROUP DISCOUNTS available throughout the run. Buy a table (10+ tickets) and receive 10% off. If you are attending Conni’s Avant Garde Restaurant with folks under multiple reservations, please notify the Box Office at least 48 hours in advance of the performance you’re attending, and we will try to seat you at the same table. The only way to guarantee you can sit with your friends is to purchase a whole table.

SUNDAY, 12/2
SUNDAY, 12/9
SUNDAY, 12/16

For all sold-out performances, we encourage you to arrive early and join our waiting list in the box office starting at 6:00pm.

Remarkable Rating:


This show contains strobe lights, haze, gun shots, unsound medical advice, animal sacrifice, full frontal nudity, particularly bad puns, sudden death, and peace on earth! Call or email the Box Office if you have questions about content: 216.631.2727 x501 |


“Energizing. Hilarious. Filling. Maybe Brilliant… You have never experienced anything like it.
Unless, of course, your mom is a top chef and certifiably insane.”

Rave and Pan



Raymond Bobgan – Producer
Beth Wood – Line Producer
Connie Hall – Producing Director & Original Creator
Rachel B. Murdy – Original Creator
Cynthia Croot – Director
David M. Barber – Scenic & Costume Designer
Jennifer Caster – Production Stage Manager*
Ashley Davenport, Davenport’s Divine Delicacies – Chef
Kelly Hayes – Choreographer
Wes Calkin – Lighting Designer
Kasey Gilder – Sound Designer & Board Operator
Chris Young – Technical Director
Dan Schumacher – Assistant Technical Director
Emily Bubeck – Rehearsal Stage Manager

*Production Stage Manager appears courtesy of Actors’ Equity Association, the Union of Professional Actors and Stage Managers in the United States.


Muffin Character Hanshake (star of stage and screen)
Shihu Shallnotbenamed (world-renowned performance arsonist)
Mr. Spackle Barrymore (vaudevillian/bee)
Lady T Rose (rock goddess/soup angel)
Areese RR De La Fuente (barkeep/bear)
Dr. Peterson (freelance psychiatric and OB/GYN practitioner)
Hair Messerschmidt (master of mise-en-scène)
Sue James (general manager)
Chef Triple D (not the bleached blonde guy)

+ THE NURSES: Nurse Hickory, Nurse Dickory, Nurse Doc, & Nurse Eric
(Gideon Lorette, Val Kozlenko, Selena Awesome Vicario, Victoria Zajac)



assorted phyllo cups (whipped feta, sweet butternut squash, & mushroom tapenade)

potato leek soup

today’s waldorf salad with mixed greens, apples, grapes, celery root, cranberries, with veganaisse dressing & praline topping

roasted turkey with gravy & cornbread dressing, green bean casserole with toasted almonds & pesto,
& classic cranberry compote
vegetarian option: vegetable & brown rice stuffed cabbage roll braised in blistered tomato stew

chocolate bundt cake with butter rum glaze & whipped cream

We Accommodate Special Dietary Requests!

Are you (or a member of your party) vegan, vegetarian, or have dietary restrictions? Please notify the Box Office at least 24 hours in advance, we’ll let the chef know, and make every attempt to accommodate. Email the Box Office at
or call 216-631-2727 x501 and leave a message.

“A deliciously demented feast for the holidays.”

The Plain Dealer


About Conni’s Avant Garde Restaurant

This ain’t your Grandma’s dinner theatre.

Conni’s Avant Garde Restaurant is not a locale but a group of bold (if fictional) theatrical performers, devoted to the ongoing celebration of the work of the legendary Miss Conni Convergence, the beloved (and again, fictional) icon of stage and screen. Hailed as “devilish dinner theatre” by the New York Daily News, the company has played to (and fed) thousands in New York, Boston, Cleveland, and Nashville. The performers themselves originate, cook, and serve the meal (not fictional), using fresh, locally-sourced, seasonal ingredients as much as possible. Each of the five courses is served through musical and choreographed sequences unearthed from the troupe’s under-appreciated original canon, much of which has gone on to be popularized in television situation comedies (albeit substandard), in the world of avant garde theatre and film (rather ubiquitously), and in what has now become classic rock music (to surprisingly interesting results). During the evening we follow Muffin Character Hanshake as she explores a starring role in the show that never closes: motherhood. Along the way, she is aided by an eclectic company of Avant Garde artists including an R&B singer fresh from the road, a German sous chef and enfant terrible, an experimental rapper and cymatics expert, and an Eastern European performance arsonist.

Meet the Lead Artists of Conni’s Avant Garde Restaurant

Click here or on the image above to meet the lead artists of Conni’s Avant Garde Restaurant: A Snowball’s Chance.


“Audience Participation” for lack of a better phrase

Miss Conni’s Five-Course “Mothership” production gives you time to eat, relax, and enjoy conversation with your tablemates in between rich courses of intellectual, whimsical, theatrical experiences which we provide for your consumption. You will not be put on the spot. After a cocktail warm-in hosted by our friendly barkeeps, the audience is seated at banquet tables of ten each. This is an interactive environment, but the most that will be required of you in the way of participation is that you pass the serving dishes to your fellow audience members.

Thank you to our supporters